contradictions

ok so here it is now.


you're sort of a beacon of marvelous light
that invariably weakens as you wind through the night
across town, through the streets and into my room
where i lie awake and think about you.

where i wonder what happens when everything ends
whether you will be there, and will my friends
and i toss and turn, try to squint through the fog
and attempt to quench my enmity with god

because he's the same god that loves the ones that i do
and he's the same god that hardened pharoah's heart
and he's the same god that brought me to you
and he's the same god that tears me apart.

it's the same sort of useless, trying to understand you
as trying to figure out what big man is up to
because you're the embodiment of all i ever wanted
all mysterious, all beautiful, understated, unflaunted

and so is that just the fault of the human condition?
a war hawk's nobel prize, justified by his admission?
the best loved, most generous in the ground are laid
the most beautiful woman can't love the way she's made

yeah he's the same god that loves the ones that i do
and he's the same god that hardened pharoah's heart
and he's the same god that brought me to you
and he's the same god that tears me apart.

some more recent drafts

"beacon"

you're sort of a beacon of marvelous light
that invariably weakens as it winds through the night
across town, through the streets and into my room
where i lie awake and think about you.


where i wonder what happens when everything ends
whether you'll be there, and will be my friends
and i toss and turn, try to squint through the fog
and attempt to quench my enmity with god


because he's the same god that loves the ones that i do
and he's the same god that hardened pharoah's heart
and he's the same god that brought me to you
and he's the same god that tears me apart.


it's the same sort of useless, trying to understand you
as trying to figure out what that crazy dude's up to
because you're an amalgam of everything i've ever wanted
all mysterious, all beautiful, all bjhfvhgc unflaunted

which is very obviously connected to this one: "following him"

are you the same god that
bets with the evil you created
tortures a good man, the best man
to show his loyalty to you


because i'm a big fan of you
and i really want to follow
but i'm afraid that somehow if i do
i might end up following him


are you the same god that
hardened pharoah's heart
to prove a point, perhaps or
to create some great mythology for us
to celebrate 2000 years later


because i'm a big fan of you
and i really want to follow
but i'm afraid that somehow if i do
i might end up following him


are you the same god that
condemns 2/3 of your creation
to torture, that created us evil
then blames us for the fact


because i'm a big fan of you, jesus
and i really want to follow
but i'm afraid that somehow if i do
i might end up following him


i thought about scrapping the second one and taking the good parts and turning it into the first one. we'll see. i like the verses of the first one but i like the chorus of the second one. and the first one is about two completely different things at the same time and i don't think it works.


either way, i've been writing and it's nice. my writer's block has lately been a frustration with not knowing more chords. :(

don't hang up your harp

D Bm
don't hang up your harp
G
when you're down by the river
Bm A
with a broken heart

don't hang up your guitar
when there's songs to be singin'
when love seems so far away

G Bm
we can still wake up refreshed
A D
be content with all we've got
we can still cuddle all morning
together lament for what we've lost

if there's anything i can tell ya
it's just, try for peace right where you are
and don't hang up your harp

don't give up just yet
it's on the horizon
we'll meet the threat

with dreams of a new day
some strategic idealism
to counter society's sway

economics won't get us there
nor will a new president
it'll be a song that we're livin'
that'll set the precedent

if there's anything i can tell ya
it's just, try for peace right where you are
and don't hang up your harp