rough

a stark and telling moon is rising slowly over us
i tremble slightly with the pressure, lacking the necessary trust
what was created to be beautiful has now a sick, perverted grin
while our bodies work their magic i am drowning in the din

it was not the only time that i had sheepishly proposed
that you would smiling stand before me, naked and disrobed
a that moment, an all-consuming torrent had prepared to begin
to crushingly remind me the severity of our sin

and you said
oh oh oh
but i think it might be true
and i said
even so i can't do this to you
but i said
oh oh oh
i think she is the one
even more
even more how will i feel
when this is done

the startling dysfunction then, of reason, of my brain
had trickled down a silent, agonizing, piercing pain
it found its way directly to the center of my chest
the point of this selfishness was pleasure, but all i felt was regret

i woke up in a dark, cold sweat, with beauty still nearby
i cuddled closer still and then began to shake and cry
because i knew that had at this point, now, my caring truly for you begun
i would never again do to you what i had eagerly just done

thou mayest

thou mayest, thou must
make the choice.
but be more that certain it's
the right one-
if you're like my aunt, you'll
have realized that life is
quite a bit shorter than is
capable of really ever being
imagined,
so make the choice.
thou mayest.
it's, yeah, what makes us
what we are, that ability
so make the choice
and choose well
and don't factor in your emotions
they flee
faster than is
capable of really ever being
imagined
so make the choice
thou mayest
and whether or not you've been
inside her, whatever that
means to you or whether
it means anything to her
or whether you have the chance
to get there again
shouldn't, can't possibly
interfere because with matters
of the heart
it's better to use
your head
instead.
thou mayest.
thou must.

Goodbye, my lover

I used to treasure you as a diamond
I used to cradle you in my arms
I used to love you unconditionally
I used to protect you from harm.
I've not spoken to you in weeks
I've not seen your face in months
I've not kept up with your happenings
I've not conversed with you even once
I thought that you were truthful
I thought you wanted to be friends
I thought we had no hope together
I thought this wasn't how it'd end.

i'm sorry stephanni

g d em d
a stark and telling moon is rising slowly over us
i tremble slightly with the pressure, lacking the necessary trust
what was created to be beautiful has now a sick, perverted grin
while our bodies work their magic i am drowning in the din

and you said
oh oh oh
but i think it might be true
and i said
even so i can't do this to you

the startling dysfunction then, of reason, of my brain
had trickled down a silent, agonizing, piercing pain
it found its way directly to the center of my chest
the point of this selfishness was pleasure, but all i felt was regret

and you said
oh oh oh
but i think it might be true
and i said
even so i can't do this to you
but i said
oh oh oh
i think she is the one
even more
even more how will i feel
when this is done

two months later we pretend that we've got it all together
soon you'll see, darling, there are storms we cannot weather
i miss you now and i'll miss you then and this decision is so hard to make
but when time has passed, and our friendship lasts, we'll know it was not a mistake

and you said
oh oh oh
but i think it might be true
and i said
even so i can't do this to you
but i said
oh oh oh
i think she is the one
even more
even more how will i feel
when this is done

Disenchanted rough draft

When I disappoint you
(because, surely, I will),
how will you respond?

I know that;
I'm pretty sure that (I mean,
I think I know myself
relatively well,
and I mean,
I have past experience
to look on, and like
your professor told you,
past behaviour
dictates
future behaviour),
at some point,
I won't stick up for you
and
I'll know immediately afterward
that I should have,
but
salvage-able
the situation will not be;

I know
that at some point
I'll say the completely
wrong
thing
and
you'll grimace: that brief--
fleeting because
you won't want to let me see
your disappointment
but I'll have seen it for sure
because it's never
that I'm not, at least
surreptitiously,
watching
creeping
admiring you
but that
heartbreaking
facial expression
that just says
so much more than any of your
disappointed yet
face-saving words
could ever;

and
at some point it's going
to become apparent
to you
that I
am not all that I'm
cracked up to be
and how,
and how will you respond?
And how will we get on?