The Painter's Tragedy

I was a poor and horrid wretch
Before a family took me in
Found a propensity for sketch
And as I grew
So did my popularity

A well-known artist I bothered
At his recent exhibition
Sold a drawing to your father
A stunning one
Of a dream girl I’d yet to meet

But wouldn’t you know it
I met you sitting there
A ribbon interweaved
Into your long, brown hair
Those eyes did me appall
And then, once and for all
Oh, the tragedy

He informed me of my talent
That the future I’d surely read
Purchased for me a fitting palette
And commissioned
A portrait of his newfound bride

With that next work my fame was spread
And a friend of his I became
A surrogate father, he led
Me in the ways
Of a solid and gentle man

And I lost the image
Of that female phantom
That woman I’d painted
And let go on ransom
But ten years later I
Saw again the startling eyes
Oh, the glory

For the child with whom I’d grown
In the home of that benefactor
Had surely come into her own
And in my sight
Was now the beauty of my dreams

Separated by seven years
The affection of your father
And an ever-increasing fear
That my background
Would hinder my attempts to woo

We fell in love a day
In the windswept summer
Your deepest, secret depths
I longed to search and plunder
The course of our shared fate
Prohibited to date
Oh, the tragedy

We crept to our ravine
To escape this wicked life
And we each promised then
To never say goodbye
And with a shared, weeping cry
I felt a part of me die
Oh, the tragedy

Audrey (rough)

How we started out,
Is I thought we’d date -
Thought that I would use you
On that fateful day,
To witness something
I'd never seen before.

I found out soon
You were already off.
But I went for the tape -
That wasn’t enough
To deter me from the course
That we'd soon follow.

When you'd said nothing
To me in four months,
I figured out myself
That we were done.
And I still think that I
Haven’t quite recovered.

"A travel buddy,"
And more, you said.
More memories
Than I’d ever had;
As you and I
Explored the sprawling city.

Going metro to
The heart of it all.
Mexican Catholics,
Virgin Mary walls,
The candles and the
Quick drive down to San Mon.

And you were my best friend.
I guess that don’t mean much.
With priority,
And our lives as such,
It’s all become
A fading memory.

When you ended it,
And when you had that scare,
I gave you a hug -
You know that I was there.
And you know
I always will be.

And you tear my heart
Into halves today.
But that’s inadequate
To describe the pain -
Through all the fights, I
Never saw it coming.

Oh [Audrey]
When I see you now,
It’s like I never did.
And I am not allowed
To retain any
Affection for my best friend.

And [Audrey],
If you would talk to me,
I would tell you that
I am so sorry.
And whatever it was,
I hope you can
Forgive me.

HALF WAY

i walked into the room and you were there
i was blinded by your eyes, oh that subtle piercing stare

over the next few weeks
i wouldn't look at you but she
yet still i found us growing closer and closer

there was a glorious night and we both run
to behold the lover's painted lines provided by the sun

coincidences here and there
coincidence well i don't care
and now I think about the month of september

we were both drunk
when you met me
and i didn't see it going
any further than it did
and yeah we shared the sin
with the man who's promised his wife and his kids

there is no real future around the bend
though i've gained lots of friends, since what we had met its end

i don't know if it's truly truly true
that you never knew just how much i like you
it won't change your decision but at least, now, you know.

so here's your chance
come and take my hand
time is not a friend
to opportunity

and when it knocks
you'd better answer
look out on the doorstep
and you'll find me.

http://www.myspace.com/prostatusmusic

this first verse is just going to be an introduction
alright, i'm gonna introduce my man right here
albert kim - pro status - let's do this

no he don't wear stunnas shades, and he ain't trying to impress
you'd think he was an azn scenester from the way that he dress
he'll rep the classy penguin shirt and got some vans on his feet
and if you want street cred AKIM he can't be beat
but you know it aint the clothes, no, ain't what makes him fresh
this kid be MV pro status, read grendel to gilgamesh
who else but me and my man woulda thought to sample RENT?
we're feeling digable planets here, but on the jazz we relent.
and yes we represent the bay, but that hyphy ain't our stuff
we're just chillin' out max, to us bel air can be rough
when you compare what we do, but what do we do?
how can rhymes so fly come from a mouth fed with a silver spoon?
we like to keep it chill, though, support the ladies too
ain't gonna hear nothing outta us jesus wouldnt a said to you
check this secret easy to spot as a pigeon from a dove
if something's missing from your life all you gotta ask is how about love

what are you afraid of rough draft

is it in the tired way your eyes meet mine
like they've done a hundred times
the rationale i've never seen
the comfort was a sign
was it that glorious night beneath the stars
or our sunswept summer days
that have created in me the impetus
to begin feeling this way

and you don't know
what we will be come september
and you don't know
if you even want to remember
love, what are you afraid of?
what, are you afraid of love?

since we met i've been running
circles around my house
trying to figure out just what
you've done to me
the butterfly swarm around my eyes
make it difficult to see
anything other than your beauty

F
so here's your chance,
E
come and take my hand
Am
time is not a friend
C
to opportunity
F
and when it knocks, you'd better answer
E
look out on your doorstep
Am
the man there waving
C
is me.

and you don't know
what we will be come september
and you don't know
if you even want to remember
love, what are you afraid of?
what, are you afraid of love?

Originally Posted Monday, November 14, 2005

Sadness

is

loving someone
yet having nothing
of worth
to offer them.

All I have is myself.
My body
my soul
my thoughts
my gifts
my words
my ears
my heart.
Are those worth anything?

No?

Then I am worthless.

also...
I am conceited.
I am selfish.
I am misguided.
I am self-absorbed.
I am scared.
I am hopeless.
I am useless.
I can't win.
I can't learn.
I am the same as always.
I am the same as I was high school.
I can't trust.
I need to grow.
I need to learn.
I need to appreciate myself.
I need to appreciate others.
I think I need less expectations.
I know I need God.

I need to be single. I need to learn to rely on myself before anyone else can ever rely on me. I need to learn how to give up control to God. I need to learn how to see what is best for someone else before thinking what is best for me. I need to stop worrying about my life and let God's perfect timing happen. I need to realize that everything is for the best. I need to learn what love is.

I seem to remember that one time at Albertson's...
you grabbed my arm, and we up and danced!
That music- so poor. But we were perfect;
alone in a crowd, alone in a world of our own.

And the first time we met for our very first date?
You were tired- jet lagged for sure, and red were your eyes.
But you came out to see me, so excited, and up we went.
You told me you were cold, but I left on my jacket!

We've moved pretty far from there, haven't we?
I'm here for you now, if you ever do need me.
But... I'm reasonably certain you don't anymore.
I think- you're just a bit too busy out finding yourself.

Remember when we laid, blanketed, and stared up at the stars?
How bright. Then the rain came, and tumbled upon us.
A frigid night, and I could feel you shaking- but I was warm,
because you were enveloped in me, and I in you.

I've held you in my arms, and whispered a scene-
said, "Everything I have ever wanted in this world is laying
right by my side"- and I knew it right then, and I just
want you to know now, that I meant sincerely every word.

Together we really seemed perfect, no brakes, no ceiling.
We said we could take on the world, and I stood at attention.
Into battle, together, we would go, we would conquer.
So why aren't we?

I've had this song in my head since early this morning
or was it late last night? I can't seem to recall.
I just know that it has been pressing hard on my heart
to say not what's just on my mind, but to say it all.

I always thought that I knew you ever so well
and that I could make my decisions with you in mind.
I never really knew what your love could mean until
I saw that it was given, until what you gave was mine.

So know this, my dear, I'll never stray from your side.
If you need someone to hold, I'll be there tonight.
Just listen to my voice and block out the rest
and I swear that we'll end up alright.

You have had your troubles, and you are not perfect.
And we have upset each other, oh, quite a bit.
There are times when I think you have lied to me,
when we could both have been called a 'hypocrite'.

I've made my mistakes, actually more than my share.
And I have hurt you so much that I can't understand
why you come back and give to me that disguised gift
when I know that I am surely not yet your man.

But know this, my dear, as long as I live and I breathe
if you need someone to hold I'll be at your side.
Just give me a call and I'll be there to tell you
that I swear that we'll end up alright.

We laid together on the bed
and tears spilled out of my eyes.
You didn't understand...
but neither did I.

two constance rough draft

it's disconcerting
how quickly a life can change
peer into yourself now
you're past that unalterable pain

it only took a moment
for opportunity to spring forth
as you dragged your tired limbs
sopping wet across the hearth

and into my vision
must've been a sign
you traversed a distance
as lengthy as the county line
i thought, "i'll make her mine"

you weren't for sale
that dreary new years eve
an ill-fitting purchase
for share your time with me

a lifetime later
as we shared the noontime summer sun
simply beautiful mathematics
when two can become one

and i see you in the evening light
but you startle me blind
something i've never seen
but i don't mind
you thought "ill make him mine"

now you sail across the ocean
now you drive along the coast
now you were bewildered once
but now you know who cares the most

it was disconcerting
how quickly "us" was spoken of
there are two constants in my life
my dear and one of them is love

Untitled as of yet

it's disconcerting 5
how quickly one's life can change 7
peer into yourself now 6
and try to call yourself sane 7

it only takes a moment 7
for opportunity to spring forth 9
it came for you a dreary night 8
she stumbled, sopping across the hearth 9

and into your paradigm 7
a distance traveled as lengthy as 9
the county line 4
you said, "I'll
make
her
mine".

7/8/06 forever

It was confirmed:
that the most stellar view
can be seen when I am
half a foot in front of you;

when our garish moon
found 'twas time to touch on
that cheek, in its splendor,
I did nary but as much.

A simple rest,
a plain and blissful treat;
was that enjoyable
and rather prolong'ed sleep;

our hearts sang what
our lungs could not express,
but surely they were heard--
your ear flush against my chest

delivered waves
worth every perfect storm;
that seem to only come
when through a dream I am torn.

7/2/06 for now

it isn't in the way that you seem to read my mind
and it's not how you tell me all your wildest dreams
it can't be the brightness of your illuminating stare
no, i can't figure out just how you got to me

but you got here, it's true, like no other has before
and i'm scared, excited, anxious, trembling just to see
what we make of this, where our dreams will lead our feeble hearts
and all that we allow ourselves to be.

When life overwhelms you -
truly, exhaustingly,
overwhelms your mind, body,
maybe even your heart -
there is only one thing you can do.
And the tears may be streaming,
and the blood could be bleeding,
and your body is aching,
and your heart might be pounding,
and you can't seem to see more than six
or seven inches in front of your face,
but as long as one foot
is in front of the other
and you chance
to take that fledgling step,
everything should end up alright.

And, more often than not,
if you hold on to the faith,
and leave your eyes up,
and remain hopeful,
and stay the course,
and frown at discouragement,
and keep your wits about you,
and focus on the ultimate goal,
it will.

When Life Overwhelms

When life overwhelms you -
truly, exhaustingly,
overwhelms your mind
and maybe even your heart -
there is only one thing you can do:
and the tears may be streaming,
and the blood could be bleeding,
and your body is aching,
and your heart may be pounding,
and you can't seem to see more than six
or seven inches in front of your face,
but as long as one foot
is in front of the other
and you take that fledgling step
everything should end up alright.
Shouldn't it?

bad grammar is sexy (unfortunately)

so if it isn't
little miss
fuck me & leave
and when it's convenient
ask me for grammatical help
as though
the seventeen years you've spent
in this country haven't been enough.

oh, and i despise your little troubles,
i'm aghast at your
glaring syntax issues
and i would rather
die then inherit the control
you wield over our
common language,
but it isn't that you
disgust, me, no;
i die silently because i find
every single error, from
the insignificant
to the absolutely inexcusable
terribly
and inexhaustibly
endearing.

you're the reason i drink

verse
G 355433
Bm 224432
B 244322
C 032010
Dm 000231
Am 002210

Oh, this is the last poem that I will ever write to blame you for something.
If it hurts me just to think your name, it'll kill me if I sing.
So, if everything is mental, then it's my brain that's got to learn
how to shut off, commiserate no more, cease to feel, and cease to yearn.

I pour another glass, from a stranger's flask.
And culpable for it, I try to be -
but every time I see you,
your radiance still shines through,
and I know for a fact you're ruining me.

There comes a point in every life, when a decision must be made;
whether to go, whether to stay, whether to continue the charade.
For some, their hope of future love will keep them stumbling forth.
But if you've already found and lost it, what can life really be worth?

Your tights, they look so dreadful,
my opinion of your hair I'll never say.
But I swear I would remind you
of your beauty every day;
If you were mine,
if you were mine,
if you were mine,
if you were mine -
oh, this substance will remind me of that time.

Some people never realize what they have until it's gone.
I knew just what I had, my dear, and treasured you all along.
I think I'd like to forget you, forget your name, your weight on me -
which means I'll simply lie here frigid, comatose, yet lacking sleep.

I pour another glass from a stranger's flask,
as culpable for it as I can be.
But every time I see you,
your radiance still shines through,
and I know for a fact you're ruining me.
And every time I see you,
your beauty stuns me, yes it's true,
and I know for a fact you've ruined me.

not all right

My brother and I used to be the best of friends. We'd run, and we'd play, and we'd talk until the day's end. That all started to change when our parents took their sides. He was far too young to be able to decide.

He said to me, "It will be all right".
He lied.

Then seven long years passed, and he lived in another town. A vagrant was he, with a self-indulgent and inscribed frown. I had no idea what happened, but he blamed her for all of it. The drugs, and the lies, and the women, and his conscience.

He said to me, "It will be all right".
He lied.

It got better, and it got worse. He never lost that unshakeable charm. But divorce shook him harder than the filth going into his arms. I look to God and wonder how he's made true all of my dreams, but his love and his family are thrown away under his feet.

He said to me, "It will be all right,
it will be all right".
He lied, it's not all right even though I've tried.

sappy dappy

sometimes i'll read
a sappy sparks novel
to find out how the
world should be

but it will never
turn out the right way
if she's not here
with me

new orleans, louisiana

as we walked we saw thousands
of charred black faces
none of them would ever
find a home
they say that you can tell
a civilization
by where the corpses lie when
their souls are gone

two accused hang
by their necks
a crime that
only they know for sure
charged for what it was
they were carryin'
we know they were carryin' more
than they were before

can we offer some kind of relief
to the battered and broken city
of new orleans
x2

it washed away a lifetime
of memory
a son, a daughter
no more
we scrape, and we clean
and we hurry
but when time's your last friend
you don't know what you're hurrying toward

we hope and we pray and it makes us
feel significant
like a thoughtful word can
create legitimate change
but if you aren't out there
fighting on the front lines
you'll never meet the enemy face to face

i wanted to write a new song
but didn't know just what to say
thought that if i start typing
it would come out anyway

i've never written anything
that wasn't about a pretty girl
but this song just ain't about you
though you're the prettiest in the world

no, this songs about a band i know
i met them actually tonight
they're called OZMA and they rock!
and they roll! they roll all night!

OZMA
the greatest band in the world
OZMA
maybe we'll open for you some day
OZMA
your keyboard player's hot
even though she didn't give me
any play

Coffee (Kyna's Song)

the light has not taken its place
the will remain ours
a single raindrop falls in place
we would wish if we could only see the stars

i stand and bask in teh Son
your beauty an effervescent glow
a fleeting encapsulation
if only i could never let go

what do we do
what do we do
when i'm not sleeping
and your work is through
if i can see
you here with me
then we'll drive until
we can get some decent coffee

i pray that it will not have been in vain
on my knees, God take my hand
this demon on my back be slain
as long as it coincides with your plan

the april rain will carve in me a hole
to watch it fall and your eyes shine is all i need
this weight took its toll
my eyes ungilded and bright, i can see

what do we do
what do we do
when i'm not sleeping
and your work is through
if i can see
you here with me
then we'll drive until
we can get some decent coffee

what do we do
what do we do
when i'm not sleeping
and your work is through
we'll stay right here
and i'll hold you dear
have i told you you
intoxicate me

i don't need to stinkin' coffee

http://www.myspace.com/loveeric

Been sitting silent in the basement
for more than two hundred days
Counting and marking
increments with a pen

Upon his wrist the ink will seep
deep down into his skin
for simple lack of something
more permanent

I've tried to make an influence
to break the trance, to give him hope
i tried to tell him that
there is something greater

That some purpose lies unseen,
something bigger than ourselves.
His memory too weak
to resuscitate her.

His lips are cracked, face is gaunt
Symptoms of death to which he'll succumb
he's listening for a message that cannot come
that will not come
she will not come.

a full moon's out tonight
and she will stare in admiration
at the cauterizing light
it speaks, no hint of hesitation
take it slow

you felt a tug at a heartstring
but couldn't find the fucking source
a mar, and your terminal ping
a request considered, yet never forced
take it slow

flowers eat away the soil
springtime shows its horrid face
and when a song prohibits a toil
a heart will never be replaced.
take it slow

For the next thirty two minutes

So it's down and across town
when the light ceases to shine.
And we're driving, ever striving
for reason or maybe rhyme.
We pull up to this foreign complex,
preemptively, I unlock your door
but for the next thirty-two minutes
you forget what you're fighting for.
We amble through the alleys
my hand, it loosely cradles yours.
But it's limp, I tend to skimp
with that affection.
Before long we are eating,
I got the crispy chicken, too.
We sit and park, here in the dark,
I share my pearl tea with you.

Autumn nights they bring a promise
of beauty or maybe love.
They create in me a wholeness
and I want to sing.
Singin'
La la la la la la
la la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la la
la la la la la.

You wrap your arms around my shoulders,
I gaze at you, I face your face.
A frigid tear slides down and dies
and I feel the cold embrace.
You decide to ask the question
whether I love you, "is it true?"
Or is the thing that I honestly want
companionship from you?
I look deep into those brown eyes,
and I falter just a bit.
I don't want to have hurt you love,
I think, as I bite my upper lip.
I have never been more truthful
than that cold day in September.
You could infer, I wasn't sure
if I had ever truly cared
or ever remembered.

Autumn nights they bring a promise
of beauty or maybe love.
They create in me a wholeness
and I want to sing.
Singin'
La la la la la la
la la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la la
la la la la la.

On that autumn night
I realized what you mean to me.
And I knew from that day forward
That I was going to sing.
singin'
La la la la la la
la la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la la
la la la la la.

Feb. 14th

Can we walk a little bit slower?
I have so much to say,
but we're here at the start
yet again.

Put up your Dukes.
Let's see what your daddy gave you.
Can you handle me here?
Will this be goodbye?
Let's see you protect yourself
this time.

Can I show someone else that I love her?
It's Valentine's day.
So dear to my heart,
this holiday.

So put up those Dukes.
Has your past taught you nothing?
Can you handle me there?
A resounding "goodbye."
What can reason do for you
this time?

e.e. cummings-inspired

I meant everything.
(But not;
I mean,
those parts in which I said
that I would always care or
that I could
never leave your side.)
Well, I did say those things
and I believed them
and meant them
when say them
I did.
Times are different,
now,
and I don't know if those
old, fragile promises can still hold
when you sleep in beds
that don't belong to you or I,
and you peer subconciously
for a mirror from the corner
(Or a camera lens.)
That means you care
for me
so I can't blame you
or feel pain;
I'm no longer allowed
to do that.
Right?
I might, in fact,
have changed my entire demeanor
since you left;
It's different, for sure-
I mean, were it not for
video,
photograph,
knick-knack,
conversations kept,
and this inexhaustible memory
I clearly
would have
forgotten
you
by now.

love actually

My heart pumps; my feet tap the floor.
Carry-on luggage is weightless in my arms as I run.
I can see you before I see you;
I can feel your embrace,
yet you are still far off.
When, finally, we reunite...
you aren't the same person
that flew away five months prior to today.
And when we meet again, some day soon,
I truly, and with all hope focused on the opposite,
doubt I'll likely be able to recognize you.
The airport-- love is actually all around us.
Surrounding-- suffocated. By everything
that we cannot seem to grasp.

A short screenplay part III

John: I just remember when I met her. It’s like, have you seen Say Anything?

Seth: [Nods]

John: It’s like, after she breaks up with him, and he’s driving around? You know, the part, and then he’s like, “Here is the site of our controversial first date. We met in a mall. I should have known it was doomed”. I mean, I met Natalie in an American Eagle store. I should have known that we were doomed.

Seth: [laughs]

John: Yeah, yeah. But it was so cute, the way we first met. It completely reminds me of a Richard Linklater movie. I think my entire life could be a movie, directed by Richard Linklater. Or John Hughes. But it couldn’t be by Hughes unless she and I get back together in a bunch of years or something. Or maybe, I meet her in Korea in 8 years and then you’re not even sure if we get back together. Then it would be by Linklater. Personally, I hope that it’s by Hughes. And then John Cusak could play me, only like, an Asian version of John Cusak. That would be ideal.

Derek: What the hell are you talking about, man?

John: When I met Natalie. I met her in American Eagle. [continues talking, indistinct]

Derek [to Jones]: Why is he telling us about when we met her?

Jones [to Derek]: Just let him talk, man. He’s gotta work through this shit. When Kelly breaks up with you, you’re going to want to talk about it.

Derek [to Jones]: We’re going to get fucking married, and then you’ll see.

Jones [to Derek]: Whatever, shut up.

John [still talking]: I stood there for a while, by like, the little station where you can customize your clothes? And I remember looking outside, because I thought it might snow. And it wasn’t snowing, but I was hoping it would, because I always want snow when it’s Christmas, you know? Everyone does. That fucking song, that whole “White Christmas” mentality took us all by storm and ingrained into our heads that snow plus Christmas equals happiness or something. I don’t even know the words to that song, but I know that I wanted it to snow.

SCENE CHANGE- AMERICAN EAGLE STORE

John [voice over]: So I stood there, and I could sort of see her. I don’t know if any of you have seen this movie, My Sassy Girl? But in the movie the guy is like, “She’s definitely my type” right when he first sees her. And I don’t really have a type, but she was definitely my type, that’s all I could really tell. And you know how shy I am, I have never been able to approach a girl outright. And this was like, over a year ago too, you know? So I was even way shyer. But for some strange, cosmic reason, I decided to go over there. I wasn’t shopping anyways, you know? I never shop; I just walk around looking at stuff. Anyway, so I just went over there, it was the craziest thing. And I sat down.

John [sitting down]: Hi.

Natalie: Hi there. [Awkward silence]

John: You know, I … [awkward] um, OK, I have a confession to make.

Natalie: If you must.

John: I’m going to be entirely honest—I worked up all of my courage to come over here and talk with you, but I really didn’t think about what to say after “Hi”.

Derek [voice over, BACK TO DORM SCENE]: That fucking shit worked? That’s either the worst pick up line I’ve ever heard, or the best.

Jones: Shut the fuck up, Derek. But John, seriously, how can that have worked?

John: Seriously. I have no idea! She must have been really emotionally desperate or something. I don’t know. Maybe she was bored.

Derek: Lucky bastard.

John: Anyways… [SCENE GOES BACK]

John [VO]: She was like, “You could talk about the weather, or something equally mundane. That’s how these things usually work. Or you could surprise me.” So I thought about it.

John: Are you Christmas shopping?

Natalie: Is that all you have?

John: I’ll get there, believe me. Are you, though?

Natalie: No, I’ve pretty much spent all of my money thus far. It’s only a few days until Christmas, too, you know. Shopping now is a little bit lame

John: I agree, I agree. OK, so get this: I’m a gambling man by nature, and well, if I was to bet, I would say that… you’re the type of person has no money to spend on Christmas shopping… because you’ve already spent all of it on your friends?

Natalie: That’s quite astute of you. Go on.

Derek [VO]: Did they really talk like that?

Jones [VO]: Who cares. Shut the fuck up.

John: Well, I also speculated that you’re the type of person that has an opinion on things.

Natalie: I tend to, on occasion.

John: OK, so I was just thinking about Christmas, and presents. Like, I’m in the same boat as you; I think I have about $2.00 in my checking account right now, because I’ve spent so much money on other people this year. I have spent more money on my friends this year than I ever have in the past. It’s just weird because I don’t even know why. I mean, I don’t like my friends any more this year than in the past, and I don’t have more money or anything this year. I’m left wondering whether it has something to do with the passage of time, you know? Like, I’m 18 now. Is it because of adulthood, you know? I actually don’t know how old you are…

Natalie: 18.

John: OK, so I mean, now that we’re adults, does that mean we have to make good on that old idiom, you know? Like, when we’re kids, it’s OK that we favor receiving over giving, that’s just, normally accepted in society or something. When we’re kids, the more presents under the tree equals the more happiness. But why the sudden shift? Is it something to do with me biologically or something? That what gives me pleasure, suddenly, is purchasing items for other people where I used to only get pleasure from receiving things from them? I don’t really get it. When, and more importantly why, does it become better to give than receive?

Natalie: I think it does have to do with that, the fact that we’re adults now. It’s like, when you turn 18 you don’t feel any different, you know? Like, every birthday when you are little you expect to wake up completely different. You remember that? We all had this idea, like you are the exact same age for 364 days and then on the 365th day you age an entire year overnight and you should look and feel radically different the next morning? It’s the same, when you turn 18, you’re just one day older. But you actually do change a lot overnight whether you like it or not. It’s like, the knowledge that you are now considered an adult—the knowledge that you can now vote, you can now, buy cigarettes, or porn, or go to jail, or be sued for rape, I mean, just the general knowledge that you are now an adult creates in everyone this new sense of responsibility. And we don’t feel it physically or anything, it’s not tangible, we don’t even notice it, but it affects our behaviour, it makes it OK for our brain to rationalize making purchases for other people where it would think that was strange before. I don’t know, it’s not easy to explain or anything.

John: No, I get what you’re saying completely.

Natalie: It’s just like… shoot, I can’t even think of a good analogy. I’m usually so good at those.

John: Don’t worry about it. You know what’s funny?

Natalie: What?

John: My friends are all as old as I am or older, but… I know that I’m not going to get anything back from them. It kind of ruins the whole spirit of giving eh? Knowing that you won’t be receiving?

Natalie: [laughs] Maybe everyone else just isn’t really ready to grow up, no matter how old they get.

John: Sometimes I guess I envy that freedom they still have.

Natalie: What do you mean?

John: Well,… [looks over] Hello.

Friend: Hi. Natalie, ready to go?

Natalie: Oh, yeah, sure. [stands] Diane, this is…

John: John. Nice to meet you Diane. [shakes her hand]. Nice to meet you, Natalie. It was a pleasure talking with you.

Natalie: Me too… See you later, I guess?

John: I hope so. [watches her walk away, waves as she exits the door] [sits back down] [Natalie runs in]

Natalie: Hey.

John: Hey! I thought you were leaving…?

Natalie: I told her I forgot my cell phone in here. Here. [hands a note with her phone number] Let’s do this again?

John: I would love to, Natalie.

Natalie: See you soon, John. Bye.

John: Bye.

SCENE CHANGES

John: I called her that night and we talked for like 2 hours. She was busy the next day, but after that we basically hung out every day for an entire year, and it was pretty much bliss, man.

Seth: That sounds like some kind of storybook or something.

John: Yeah, that’s what I thought. Every day. That’s what I was saying; it was like some Linklater movie.

Derek: How long did it take for you guys to have sex?

Jones: How many times to I need to tell you to shut the fuck up?

John: Derek, I find it fascinating that you’re so obsessed with my sex life. It’s as though you didn’t have one of your own. [covers mouth] oops!

[everyone laughs]

Derek: Ah, shut up.

END